why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My penis needs a shock collar
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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