I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
