So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
