he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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