Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
