i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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