how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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