why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's blow job season.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
