we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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