Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
