I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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