is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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