We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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