I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
