kristin has been a bad kristin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
