So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
