pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
