If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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