Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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