I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
