i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
