i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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