U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
