So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
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third nipple confirmed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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