she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize