Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
