On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
