Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
