i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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