Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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