At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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