I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
