you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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