oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We have started to decorate penises.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
