I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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