I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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