I'm jealous of your bromance
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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