capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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