I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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