Sober January is a disaster.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
