Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
