i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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