I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
