they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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