and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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