I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize