evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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