RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
