I hope mine doesn't look like that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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