but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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