brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
