He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
