I wish you could order shots online.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize