Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize