so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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