Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize