I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
