do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
