i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
