Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
