if i died would you start the facebook group?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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