my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she looked like the before picture.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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