She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sponge bath it is.
i already hear my dad disowning me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
