I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
