i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
a search helicopter?!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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