Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize