She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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