it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
